With apologies to A Few Good Men

I saw this on Slashdot a few minutes ago, and just had to share it. The funny thing is, I can fully agree with this version of Jessup’s famous speech…



Son, we live in a world that has firewalls, and those firewalls have to be maintained by men with root access. Whose gonna do it? You? You, with your blogging buddies? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You whine about port blocking and you curse the administrators. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That blocking ports, while frustrating, probably saves bandwidth… And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves packets. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at LAN parties, you want me on that firewall, you need me on that firewall. We use words like source address, port 80, destination… We use these words as the backbone of an access control list. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain why I block access to YouTube to a man who points and clicks on the very network that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a whitepaper, and create your own web 2.0 app. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.